Movie Reviews From the Depths

I enjoy doing movie reviews. I have some friends who are much better at it than I am, but I still love raving about what like and picking apart and passing judgement on what I don't like. I'm nothing more than a picky DVD watcher and seldom theatre-goer who's seen a lot of great and terrible films in my near forty years. I mostly enjoy sci-fi/fantasy and the occasional comedy, but one just can't keep watching The Empire Strikes Back and Beerfest over and over again. You've gotta search around for new stuff once in a while; break out of your self-constructed bubble of acceptable entertainment; troll the depths of the video aisles to find that hidden gem that makes watching movies a worthwhile endeavour. Either that, or let someone else pick something....

 I really surprised myself this time around with the sheer contrast of film styles contained in this post. It's amazing what you come across when you don't really care what you watch.

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Annie (1982)

I hate the Little Orphan Annie character. I hate precocious child actors. Most importantly, I hate musicals. I loved South Park : Bigger, Longer, Uncut , but I don't consider that to be a 'true' musical.  Annie was in theatres when I was a kid, and I remember vowing to myself that I would never, never, never, ever, ever see this movie. Now, 28 years later, I have two young girls at home and a wife who loved this film as a child. I was backed into a corner when it came to seeing it. It was a choice of either watching this on a Sunday afternoon with my kids or get off the couch and do some chores. Being as lazy as I am, this was hardly a choice at all.

I would love to say that it completely changed my attitude and made me a believer, but I can't say that.  I still hate Little Orphan Annie, I still hate child actors and I think it made me remember why I hate musicals. But.....(here it is folks - I'll never repeat this).....Annie wasn't that bad.

I wasn't exactly blown away, but I didn't hate it, and seeing how much the kids liked it made me smile, and that's worth something. My girls are 6 and 2, and both love to dance and sing, so this was perfect for them. It was exuberant, funny, exciting and very sad (ie: sappier than a Waltons episode). The music, I'll admit, was well done and kind of catchy. Carol Burnett was hilarious (and a good singer), Tim Curry and Albert Finney were good in their roles, and even Bernadette Peters wasn't half as annoying as she normally is. The girl who played Annie was/is an excellent singer and dancer. I think she was grown in a secret laboratory somewhere in the cellars of Radio City Music Hall - she's an unstoppable Broadway monster.

I still can't believe that I'm saying this, but I'd give Annie a hard-won C+

(Mostly because my kids would give it an A.)

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War of the Gargantuas (1970)

Speaking of unstoppable monsters...here's a good one (or two, rather). Being a giant monster movie fan, I have to say that War of the Gargantuas is one of the most clear-cut cases of "so bad that it's good" that this genre will ever see. (I still have yet to see any Gamera movies or Reptilicus - the Danish produced giant monster puppet movie.)

As for visuals, well, what can I say? I wasn't expecting Lord of the Rings. The monster costumes look terrible and totally unconvincing, but the miniature sets (as with all Toho movies) are impressive. They probably should have spent more time on the monsters and less on the scenery.

Acting? I guess you could call it that. It was very funny to watch the American actor Russ Tamblyn speak all of his lines in English while conversing with horribly overdubbed Japanese actors. I can't tell if he's playing it for laughs or if we're supposed to think he's cool or something. (He's not cool.)

The story is wickedly supid - something about clones of the Japanese Frankenstein monster; one good (Brown) and one evil (Green). The army is just about to kill the Green Gargantua, and suddenly the Brown Gargantua shows up and saves his life. Later on, Brown scolds Green for eating people and chases him to (where else?) Tokyo. Lots of tiny buildings get flattened, lots of stuff blows up, and cool toy laser cannons constantly shoot at the monsters throughout the entire movie. In the end, a volcano pops out of nowhere and they both die in red-hot magma. Someone gives one of those 'perhaps the world wasn't ready for them' kind of speeches at the end and everyone who hasn't been eaten or stepped on goes home happy.

In summary, War of the Gargantuas is not just so bad that it's good; it's so bad that it's AWESOME!!!

Check your brain at the door.

A

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The Garden (2008)

I am somewhat of a documentary film fan, mostly because of Michael Moore. I'm pretty much a leftie, so I like the films that portray the rich and powerful as the bad guys and the common folk as the good guys. The Garden has some of that aspect to it, but this story is a lot more complex and layered than I expected.

Remember the L.A. Riot of 1992? Well, it seems that a large portion of the South Central 'landscape' (ie: ghetto) was burned to the ground, and the land was turned over to the people to use as an urban agricultural site. It was truly amazing to see what these local residents created out of nothing. Here's an aerial view of the site at it's peak:

For something like ten or twelve years, it existed as the largest urban farm in the world. It supplied fresh produce to hundreds of poor families in the surrounding community. Then the actual owner of the land decided he wanted to use it for something else and turn a profit again. The film is all about the lawsuits, appeals, personal conflicts, solidarity, cheers and tears associated with the struggle to keep the garden in tact and in the hands of the local farmers.

It is a well-told story that doesn't emulate Michael Moore's sometimes preachily (is that a word?) overdubbed narrative style, or even contain any narrative by the filmmaker at all. The story is told by the people who lived it through interviews and 'on the scene' footage. I can't say too much more about what happens, because I recommend that you see this movie and see how it all plays out. Not the best documentary film I've ever seen, but a very, very good one.

A-

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Justice League : Crisis on Two Earths (2010)

I like comics. I specifically like Marvel comics. I just grew up with Spider-Man and the Hulk instead of Superman and Batman. Lately however, I've been hopping the fence into the DC universe, and I'm loving the vacation from Marvel. DC seems to have a lot more going on in terms of full-length animated movies compared to the other guys, so there's a lot of DVDs in the video store to choose from. Marvel has a a handful of really good ones, but lately I guess they're too busy producing flashy, big-budget live-action movies with storylines that too often do nothing to capture the spirit of the source material. I think I prefer the animated features because they are really just moving comic books, and thus can adapt to the (often outrageous) storylines more fluidly.

As you would expect, all of the greatest DC heroes are in this one (except Ambush Bug, who sadly never made it into the Justice League). If you look at the above still shot from the movie and you know anything about comics, you'll notice that yes, that is in fact Lex Luthor standing shoulder to shoulder with Superman and the rest of the good guys against a common foe. Turns out that he's actually the heroic version of Lex Luthor from a parallel universe, who crosses the dimensional gulf to recruit the Justice League to fight against the corrupt Mafia-esque version of the JL from his own universe who rule there with an iron fist. Needless to say, they're a little skeptical about helping him. Batman outright refuses and stays where he is while the others go to the other Earth to try to stop the evil Justice League. (The Injustice League?)

This parallel Earth has it's own version of Superman (Ultraman, who is the 'Boss of Bosses' and talks like DeNiro), Wonder Woman (Super Woman, the biggest, toughest, scarist evil bee-yotch you'll ever see), Batman (a genocidal psychopath voiced excellently by James Woods), Green Lantern, the Flash and all of the other heroes. Crisis on Two Earths is chock full of super-powered brawls between the two teams with absolutely no punches pulled. When it comes to sheer super-powered ass-kicking, Marvel animated productions have nothing on this film. Normally, I don't like a lot of violence in my films, but when Superman knocks some bad guy through a wall, down the street and leaves him in a smoldering crater miles away - well, that's just plain cool. Plus it's animated, so there's no fatalities and barely any blood, so that means it's okay. The sweet sounds of punches, explosions and energy beams going off resound throughout pretty much the entire length of this film. That's exactly what I paid for.

I think I'm becoming a DC fan after all....

 A

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Youth in Revolt (2009)

I'll be brief with this one. Michael Cera, who is enjoying an upswing in his career with Scott Pilgrim right now (no, I haven't seen it), is kind of whatever to me. Not that he's a bad actor, but just that I don't find him the least bit funny or interesting at all. This movie has an excellent supporting cast - including Steve Buscemi, Ray Liotta, Zach Galifianakis, Jean Smart and Fred Willard - and they're all given worthy comedic parts to play. The story is pretty ludicrous but somewhat entertaining, and is produced in the currently hot 'black comedy' style by Bob and Harvey Weinstein. It's not as funny as Superbad like the DVD cover says, but if you believe any of the critics' quotes they print on those things, I feel sorry for you.

Just like Michael Cera, this movie is just kind of whatever. I didn't dislike it, but my life is no better for having seen it. Just some filler to pass by my jaded movie-watching eyes for ninety minutes - no more, no less.

C+

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That's it for today! See you next time for something most likely to be completely different!

May the Force be with you...

Summer Odyssey Part 1 - Canada

As promised, here's a small sampling of the photos I shot on our summer family vacation. To summarize the trip : we drove from Winnipeg to the Thunder Bay area (about 8 hours drive) and spent 5 days at some friends' cabin. (In Manitoba, we call them 'cabins'; in Ontario they call them 'camps'. Go figure.) From there the intended route was to drive all the way around Lake Superior to Sault Ste Marie and cross over into the US through southern Michigan, around Lake Michigan passing through Chicago and Milwaukee, then on to the fabled Wisconsin Dells for a few days, then back through Minnesota, North Dakota and home again.

Things didn't go exactly as planned, due to a road accident near Marathon Ontario. There was apparently a fatality, so the officials decided to close the one and only highway through the area for 6 to 8 hours. Not wanting to drive through such unpopulated territoy at night, we decided to backtrack about 4 hours back through Thunder Bay and cross into the US north of Duluth Minnesota. From there we ended up going south through Wisconsin to Wisconsin Dells and then back home the way we planned.

Although I'm a little disappointed that we didn't get to see Chicago or any of Michigan at all, I'm glad it turned out the way it did. We had a blast. We had tons of fun swimming, fishing, hiking and boating at the camp (ie: cabin, see above) and had a great visit with our friends out there. I've said it before and I'll say it again - the land and (especially) the people in the Thunder Bay/Northern Ontario area are amongst the finest in the world. Thanks again guys! You know who you are!
Add to this the beauty of the Canadian North Shore of Lake Superior, and you've got one hell of a vacation. Lots of wildlife, mountains, waterfalls, lakes and rivers. Couldn't ask for more. And this was only the first week!

So here are a select few of the pics. Part 2 will be all about the US leg of the journey. Enjoy!

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So... I guess this isn't exactly a 'small' sampling of our vacation photos, but I tried to pick some of the best ones. There's a slightly more complete collection on my facebook page. What I did try to show here is a glimpse of the beauty of the Northern Ontario landscape and what a great time we had during our visit there. We will definitely be going back.

Oh, and since I took almost all of the above photos, I'm not in a single one. I did, however, manage to capture a single shot of myself with my camera's remote control while I was hiking in the bush. It seems that I dropped it somewhere along the trail, and said remote is now lost forever in the wilds of Ontario.

Remember, this is only Part 1. Part 2 is soon to follow. Stay tuned!

May the Force be with you...

Rapid-fire Movie Reviews

In an attempt to get back into the spirit of blogging after a two-week family vacation, I'm going to get these out of the way as soon as possible, before I forget all about these films. Although it's out of character for me, I'm going to try to bang these reviews out in as few words as possible. There's a bit of everything in here - and they're mostly good.

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The Men Who Stare at Goats

My wife brought this one home, having purchased a pre-viewed copy from Blockbuster. I was wanting to see the film, but I was a little skeptical about owning it. I guess I'm pretty skeptical about everything, actually....

Anyway, this is a great, great film! An all-star lineup of actors - Jeff Bridges, George Clooney, Ewan MacGregor and Kevin Spacey; all at their very best here. The film is all about former top secret government operations involving psychic warriors, aka 'Jedi'. Jeff Bridges steals the show as the radical hippie General, with George Clooney as his star pupil. Kevin Spacey is the ambitious and ruthless rival determined to run things his way. If you like any of the abovementioned actors at all, you'll enjoy this film. The funniest thing about it is watching George school Ewan MacGregor in the ways of the Jedi....

Overall, I'd give it a solid  A

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The Road

Great performances. Great atmosphere. Great message. Excellent, intelligent storytelling. Depressing as hell.

Watch this film if you need some heavy drama to keep you awake at night....

B+

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Son of Kong (1933)

(This one may not be so 'rapid-fire')

 I've been on a bit of a Kong kick lately. Having seen just about every Godzilla movie out there (see: All About Godzilla from way back last year), and I decided to branch out into other giant monster franchises, and the next logical choice was obvious.  Everyone and his dog has seen the original King Kong from 1933 and the subsequent remakes, but how many of you have seen this one? Son of Kong was actually made later that very same year as a quick cheap sequel. The quality in terms of sets, locations and actors is a lot lower, but this film actually serves up a good helping of stop-motion creature action, and it's a lot more ridiculous and fun.

The story involves Carl Denham being forced to flee New York, pursued by lawsuits and debtors and all the folks holding him responsible for Kong's destructive rampage. He seeks out Captain Englehorn and they sail away to Southeast Asia, coincidentally very close to the location of Kong's home island. Along the way, they meet the runaway damsel in distress and the cowardly drunken sailor who leads them back to the island to seek out the fabled 'Lost Treasure' and later betrays them.

When they get to Skull Island (or Kong Island or whatever it's officially called), the natives aren't too happy to see Denham, who of course stole their living deity and led him to his doom. The protagonists explore the island yet again, and of course are immediately set upon by dinosaurs and other jerky stop-motion terrors. Denham and the heroine come across the Son of Kong, who is stuck in quicksand. They free him and he becomes their protector, battling a giant cave bear, a serpent-like dinosaur and other beasties along the way. 'Little Kong' even helps them to uncover the treasure, just before the island begins to sink in a devastating earthquake. The traitorous drunken sailor tries to escape with the treasure and gets eaten by a waterborne dinosaur. At the very end, Little Kong saves Denham from death by sacrificing himself to the pounding ocean waves and the good guys escape with their lives and a fabulous treasure - this is true cinematic spectacle sort of stuff!

That's the movie in a nutshell. The first 30 minutes or so is a little tedious, but once they get to the island it's pretty much action all the way....would one expect any less from a Kong movie? There's even some semi-comedic moments, like Little Kong rolling his eyes (a la Wile E. Coyote) after getting whacked in the head by the giant bear. Of course the special effects and cinematography are pretty dated, but the movie is older than your Grandma. Loosen up and enjoy it for what it is. I definitely did.

A-

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Shutter Island

Highly suspenseful, well-acted movie with an atmosphere so thick you could cut it with a knife. Highly predictable and a little slow in parts, but definitely worth watching. A good 'date movie'.

B

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Date Night

Speaking of 'date movies'..... Just saw this one last night. I guess I'm kind of a fan of both of the lead actors, even though Steve Carell has been in absolutely everything in the past 4 years - just like Seth Rogen, but I'm not as tired of Steve. He's pretty much the same here as in Get Smart but I think I enjoyed this one more. The comedy is quite a bit better, and Tina Fey (Sarah Palin impersonations aside) is hilarious. I guess I can really relate to the working parent types that the Fosters are portrayed as. The story and action are mostly stupid and same-old same-old, but I guess the writers just needed some good filler and set-ups between all the jokes. Ray Liotta's cameo as a crime boss (what else?) is a little disappointing, but Mark Wahlberg's cameo is pretty much bang-on. I liked it. I didn't love it. At least I didn't hate it.

B-

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I suppose that's enough for now. I haven't actually seen too many movies lately, and I need to get back on track with this. As I mentioned above, I've been away on an awesome vacation for the past two weeks, and I'm going to be featuring some stuff on that soon. There's also some more goodies in store for the next few posts, so stay tuned!

May the Force be with you...

GI Joe, the REAL Sokka and the Greased Scotsman

I am not, by nature, an action figure guy... A comic book guy, perhaps, but I am not that guy from The 40 Year Old Virgin. I may be pushing 40, but I have a wife of 10 years and two kids, so I'm no virgin. I don't buy action figures so much as to collect them, even though I refer to the ones I have as 'my collection'. 'Collecting' action figures implies that I buy them and try to get as many as possible and/or to complete a set. Most collectors (I'm assuming) will keep their figures mint in the original packaging if they can. While I must admit that I do have several that are in this condition (and will hopefully stay that way), I am actually a lot happier to get them loose.

I have a whole scwhack of figs right now, and my reasoning for this (if reason ever actually applies to buying plastic children's toys) is twofold:
a) I intend to resell as many of them as possible; and
b) I love taking pictures of them. Photos of brand-new, in the package toys just do not excite me. Why the hell would I buy a Spider-Man toy if I can't play with it?

The ones that I have MOC are for sale, and the loose ones might be for sale if anyone actually wants to buy them. There's only a few that I own that I will not sell, and they were gifts. That being said, even though he wasn't a gift, it's going to take a pretty penny to separate me from my Water Tribe Sokka figure (see below).

What I'm really trying to say is that, although I'm a hardcore comic book/Star Wars/Avatar/Godzilla geek, I'm not really an action figure geek....those guys are just weird, man...

Here's some figures that I got recently:

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GI JOE

COBRA NINJA

Codename : STORM SHADOW

(25th Anniversary Edition)

I guess the first wave of GI Joe  3 1/2 in. figures were released at a time in my life when I was growing too old to be playing with toys. I had a friend who was still in love with action figures and loved the show. The cartoon was OK, I guess, but I've never been a fan of the franchise in general. Even the comics to me are like, meh - take it or leave it.

But they did have Ninjas. Ninjas are, were, and will always be cool. I remember that my friend had the original Storm Shadow back in the day, and although I never cared much for the rest of them, his figure was pretty sweet. He came with a bow, two swords, a dagger and a quiver/backpack. I wanted to get this figure back then, even though I already thought of myself as too old to want something like that. ..... He's a friggin'  Ninja!!!

Anyway, setting all that old inner conflict aside, the figure I have now (the one pictured here) is not the original. It is a reissue of course, and actually looks even better than the original, but it's just not the same. Kind of like Star Wars....you get what I'm sayin...

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The Simpsons - World of Springfield - Prison Sideshow Bob

Not too much to say about him. He's a bad guy, then he turns good, then he's bad again... He tried to blow up Springfield a handful of times, framed Krusty the Clown for murder and was once married to Selma Bouvier (her first of many husbands, I believe). He comes with a rake, so you can re-enact the never tiresome 'step on the rake and get whacked in the face' gag. He also comes with an atomic bomb to help him realize his goal of total world domination.

I for one always preferred Kelsey Grammer in this animated form over all other appearances...maybe it's just something in his pseudo-Shakespearean delivery that comes out so much better coming from a cartoon character. His show Frasier was pretty much full of one-dimensional cartoony characters, but he's more believeable, and more fun, as Sideshow Bob.

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Avatar : The Last Airbender - Airbending Aang w/Momo

Aang is the main character from one of the best (if not the best) animated series ever. I didn't become a fan of the show until about a year and a half ago, after it had already completed its run on Nickelodeon. He is the Avatar - the only being capable of manipulating (bending) all four of the elements (water, earth, fire and air). He starts as an Airbender (the Last one, duh!) and learns to master the other three elements along the course of the story - one per season, each appropriately titled Book 1:Water, Book 2:Earth  and Book 3:Fire. It's a great sprawling fantasy epic, set in another world. There are dragons, castles, steam-powered warships and airships, spirits and all kinds of cool creatures like flying bison, winged lemurs (like Momo - pictured), and the ever popular platypus bear. Overall, it has a very Asian feel to it and combines a lot elements of Japanese Anime, albeit in a somewhat dumbed-down, Western manner. I admit it looks pretty childish at first glance, but if you didn't indulge your inner child once in a while you wouldn't be reading this at all. Give it a look if you haven't seen it before. I can't recommend this show highly enough.

Anyway, this entry is supposed to be about Aang, not his show. His figure looks pretty cool  - or at least as cool as a little bald kid in an orange-yellow jumpsuit can look - and he comes complete with his staff and glider as well as Momo. I bought him loose on Ebay, and he's obviously in used condition, but do you realize how hard it was to find this guy at a reasonable price? The movie action figures (from The Last Airbender) are plentiful, but these original releases are pretty hard to get and sellers want stupid amounts of cash for them. Luckily, I'm a night owl and manged to catch a good deal at the last minute of the auction. I can forgive the ripped pants (see picture) - Momo alone would have been worth the price to me. I love Momo - I want a real one.

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The Simpsons - World of Springfield - Groundskeeper Willie

One of the best known background characters from the show, Willie has got to be another one of my favorites. Having known some hardcore Scottish people all my life, I can really relate to this guy. He makes me secretly wish that I were Scottish myself. Even though he's a grim and somewhat scary sort of guy, you have to love him.

Favorite Willie quote:

"There's nary an animal alive that can out run a greased Scotsman!"

What more is there to say? He originally came in the package with a shovel and a rake and maybe some other stuff, but I bought him loose and he only came with the rake. Still, he's a cool find, and I'll probably keep him since he's not really worth anything anyway.

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The Simpsons - World of Springfield - Interactive Retirement Castle Environment w/exclusive Jasper

The Simpsons - World of Springfield  line of figures are cool because they talk and say all of the funny quotes that you hear from the show. They also suck because the figures don't actually talk by themselves. You need to place them in a compatible Interactive Environment. If you want to hear Groundskeeper Willie talk, you need to purchase the Springfield Elementary playset. In the case of the Retirement Castle, only the included Jasper figure and a few of the other figures (notably Grandpa Simpson) will talk when placed on the base of of it. I think I'd need the Police Station  or Krustilu Studios environments if I wanted to hear Sideshow Bob talk, and I've no idea which set I'd need for Cletus (see last post).

All that aside, it's still a pretty neat set - there's a couch and a TV (featuring Kent Brockman) and of course Jasper. He says a bunch of cool things when you press the button, including my favorite Jasper line:

"You shot who in the what, now?"

The whole set is still unopened in the package, but there is a little bit of warping to the box so it's not really mint. Luckily, you can stick your finger through the hole in the box window to play the quotes. I am torn in two directions with this figure; do I open it and see if any of my other Simpsons figures will say anything? Or should I leave it in the box and sell it at the Comic Con?

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GI JOE
COMMANDO
 Codename: SNAKE EYES
(25th Anniversary Edition)

Okay, so I've got a plan for this one. I bought this figure because, in case you didn't know, Ray Park (aka Darth Maul) is going to be at the Central Canada Comic Con this year. And also in case you didn't know, he played the role of the ever-silent Snake Eyes in G.I. Joe - Rise of Cobra on the big screen last year. One more 'in case you didn't know'; he also played Toad in the first X-Men film - quite the resume this guy has! He's also a real-life martial arts champion, so he could kick your ass bigtime. 

Favorite Snake Eyes quote:

".................."

I'm betting on the fact that someone is going to need something for Ray Park to sign when they get his autograph. If no one buys him on the first or second day at the con, I'm going to get it signed myself and sell it for way more money than I paid for it on Ebay. The signature alone will probably cost me $30.

Not to mention that the figure and card are in Near Mint condition.... Yep. This is one of my more valuable figures. Only Pepe the King Prawn can command a higher dollar value of the ones I have for sale.

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Avatar : The Last Airbender - Water Tribe Sokka

Now that I think about it, this figure is definitely not for sale. Not only is he hard to find (and thus pretty valuable), but he's hands-down the best character from the show. Sokka is the epitome of comic relief. He's sometimes known as the 'Meat and Sarcasm Guy'. He's also kind of the unofficial leader of the group, which he himself dubbed 'Team Avatar'. He's the only one who doesn't have any (element) bending powers, but he's pretty crafty and chucks a mean boomerang. It was Sokka's idea to invade the Fire Nation on the Day of Black Sun, he invented the airship, and he also led the sabotage of the Fire Nation Airships as they began the final battle against the Earth Kingdom. So he's a good tactician and fighter....but his real strength is his comedy.

Some unforgettable moments:

-Sokka and Momo tripping out on cactus juice in the desert 

-Sokka dressing up to pretend he's Aang's father (Mr. Wang Fire)

-Sokka with Momo on his head in an attempt to shock Aang into the Avatar State

-Sokka's attempt at landscape painting

The list goes on and on.....talk about multi-talented! Before this blog turns into the Sokka Show, I'll leave you with my favorite Sokka quote:

Katara: "You've been hallucinating on cactus juice all day, and now you just lick something that's dripping off the wall of a cave??"

Sokka: "What can I say? I have a natural curiosity."

Sokka's figure is in a little bit better condition than Aang's, and as far as I know, the only thing he's missing is the boomerang holder from his back. His figure is kind of dorky-looking with the ponytail and all, but this is the real Sokka - not the cheesy Anakin Skywalkeresque, ex-vampire guy from the movie. Oh, and it's pronounced sock-a, not soak-a. (Shame on you, M. Night!)

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That's it for now - I think I'm all caught up on my action figure collection for now. Of course, I have a ton of carded Star Wars figures that I haven't talked about, but there are way too many to list, and I couldn't possibly think of something worthwhile to say about each of them.

Until next time :

SOKKA RULES!

and May the Force be with you...