Fist of the Samurai Schmuck

Once again, it's been what seems like an eternity between posts for me, but I don't like to put anything out there if I don't really have anything worthy to say. This time around, I'm going to pump out some quick movie reviews to hopefully get things going on this blog again, mostly just to let you know that I'm still here and I'm not dead or anything.

I've told you before that I am an avid Netflix watcher, and all but one of these films were viewed on there. I think I like the ability to instantly watch some obscure movie that I've always wanted to see but never wanted to pay for. Yes, I guess I am paying for it with my monthly subscription fee, but I can always turn off a movie that I don't like and start watching something else. There's enough stuff on there that I feel I could never be stuck without something worth watching.

(Once again, Netflix Execs can contact me and send payment for my advertising services at any time...)

Here are some notable films I've seen recently, good and bad:

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Kagemusha

Excellent film! I was impressed by Kurosawa's The Seven Samurai, generally regarded as one of the best movies ever made, but I was equally blown away by Kagemusha, which was made some 26 years later with a much bigger budget. Now I am not by nature an 'artsy-fartsy' film fan, as a lot of fans of Kurosawa seem to be, but something is very cool about watching his movies... like I'm learning something about Japanese culture and history and being entertained at the same time. And who doesn't like watching movies about Samurai?

This film is about a thief who impersonates the Warlord Shingen after his death in order to keep his passing secret. He does it so well and resembles him so strongly that he manages to fool the enemy as well as members of his own household, who are utterly convinced that the imposter is truly Lord Shingen. I guess you could say it's kind of like the same story as Garfield:A Tale of Two Kitties, but there's no talking animals and no happy ending where Garfield and Odie go home with Jennifer Love Hewitt. In fact, it's sort of tragic and not really happy at all...

Visually, this is a very compelling movie - the sets and landscapes are all beautiful,  the costumes are elaborate and the battle scenes are epic and realistic. Kagemusha has the same slow and steady pacing that you'd expect from Akira Kurosawa, but I think this really allows one to feel immersed in the setting and fully absorb the weight of the situations presented in the story. Although I don't think I could accurately describe it to someone who's never seen this type of film before, I highly recommend it to anyone who actually likes to think while they're watching movies. It makes you feel smart for having watched it. There, I said it.

A+

Fist of the North Star

This actually made me feel dumber for having seen it. I honestly don't know what to say about this..... Wow. This is one of the weirdest and stupidest movies I've seen in a long time... The film is set in a post-apocalyptic (ie: Road Warrior -like) world where only the greatest martial artists and the most desperate peasants survive, and only one man can rise against the oppressive regime of the ruling Southern Cross Kung Fu school. So... basically, civilization as we know it depends solely on the 'Fist of the North Star', a guy who looks like the lead singer of a crappy 80's glam-metal band that can make people's heads and inner organs explode just by punching them rapidly and repeatedly in certain deadly pressure points. That's the jist of it. Yeah, there's some other stuff about avenging the dead father and fulfilling the one's destiny, yadda yadda... standard fantasy stuff.... whatever.

This straight-to-video monstrosity is based on what I'm told is a far superior manga epic by the same name. Maybe it's the live action aspect of it that doesn't translate so well... Perhaps it could be the poor acting by the lead characters, who seem to have been cast mostly for their martial arts prowess (Christopher Penn as an evil henchman is by far the best actor in this film, but his kung fu just isn't there...)... Maybe it's the low-budget, ridiculous-looking gore you see throughout the film.... Whatever. Who cares. It sucks. It sucks bad enough to be funny, but it's not funny enough to keep you watching it. I think I only made it about 3/4 of the way through this, so I guess this really isn't a qualified review. I suppose something drastic could have happened in the last 20 minutes to redeem the rest of this Hollywood hack job, but I wasn't about to stick around to find out. I guess you could put this on for a laugh if you're a sucker for terrible movies, but for God's sake, please don't pay for it!

D-

 

Dinner For Schmucks

Yes, it's as funny as you would expect. Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd are great together as usual, and Zach Galfiankis puts in a worthy cameo too. There's way too much crazy stuff in here to talk about, but let's just say that I almost wet myself several times. Being a fan of dioramas and miniature scenery, I'd have to say that one of my favorite things about the movie was Barry(Steve Carrell)'s dead mouse creations. Call me a schmuck if you will, but this is basically the same type of thing that I love to do with toys and action figures instead of mice...

Dinner For Schmucks follows a typical comedy movie template - ie: nice guy does something unusual or not so nice to get ahead in life with hilarious results, girlfriend leaves and/or everyone hates him, makes a big speech/heartfelt apology and everything turns out fine for the protagonist, and all the jerks get their comeuppance in the end. Oh well - we see comedies to laugh, not for the original or realistic plots. This film is full of funny people doing what they do best. Not the best comedy I've seen all year, but it's definitely worth a viewing.

B

Percy Jackson and the Olympians:

The Lightning Thief

I won't say much about this other than to give it the distinction of being a blatant American Harry Potter rip-off. The special effects are neat, and the Greek Mythology aspect is interesting, but the whole thing goes through the motions methodically, predictably and flat. Cool CGI monsters aside, it's all a bunch of blah-blah-blah epic world-saving magic sword/magic amulet/magic map/treasure hunt whatever. Seen it all before, just in different combinations and dressed up in different backgrounds and settings.

"You're a wizard, Harry!"

...no wait...

"You're a Demigod, Percy!"

C

 

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As you can see, I don't like everything, and I don't hate everything either. I have a big backlog of movies I want to review, but so little time to do it. Don't be surprised if it's another month between movie reviews - if in fact that is what you tuned in for.

 

BTW, if you came here looking for zany superhero antics, Everyday Heroes #5  is on the way and will follow shortly. Don't worry - this time around it won't be nearly as long as the last one...

 

Take care for now.

 

May the Force be with you...