Officer Carl

May the Force be with you...

 

Roommates!

Thanks again for reading!

May the Force be with you...

Of Hobbits and Fish-Men

 

Until next time:

May the Force be with you...

The Silver Surfer and the Last Airbender

 

May the Force be with you...

Disgruntled She-Hulk

May the Force be with you...

A Day in the Life of Jean-Luc Picard

Blatantly Subliminal Advertising

(Buy comics! They're great!)

That time has come again - time to unload some comics, games, toys and other cool stuff. Just so you know in advance, this post is cleverly designed to subliminally persuade you to buy my comics and action figures at the upcoming Victoria's Ultimate Hobby and Toy Fair , April 1st @ the Pearkes Arena in Victoria BC, presented by Cherry Bomb Toys. I'm afraid resistance is futile against this particular Jedi mind trick.

(Cherry Bomb Toys is awesome!)

Rebel Alliance Canada lives again!! In case you haven't figured it out - Rebel Alliance Canada is pretty much just me - Andy. An 'Alliance of One', as it were.

(Andy of Rebel Alliance Canada is the coolest guy you will ever meet.)

I had the pleasure of selling at the last toy show in Victoria in  September, and this time around promises to be even better! It turns out that selling comics and stuff and going to conventions is just as much fun here on Vancouver Island as it was in Winnipeg. The faces may have changed, but there seems to be no shortage of sci-fi/comic geeks like myself out here. In fact, some of y'all put me to shame! Anyone reading this that is not able to make it to the show for geographical reasons (because you're like, in Winnipeg or the UK or something), I can forgive you. For those of you who live on Vancouver Island, you'd better have a damn good excuse for not being there!

(You want to buy as many toys and comics as you can... from Rebel Alliance Canada...)

In any case, here's a small sampling of some of the stuff that will be for sale at the show. After the show, whatever is left over is likely to end up on ebay, and I'm sure I'll let you know about that too...

(You want to buy every item on this page - from me.)

 Let's see... I've got some Silver Age DC's...

(Although not nearly as cool as Marvel Comics, DC Comics are still pretty bitchin'.)

I have a schwack-load of Savage Sword of Conan magazines...
(Conan is awesome - even nailed to a tree, he's still awesome. You wish you could be Conan.)

 

(Alliance of One is the best blog you have ever read.)

 

The Tantive IV

(You are a true Star Wars fan... you know what the Tantive IV is. You don't have one yet.)

  Godzillas to spare...

(Godzilla is the coolest rubber monster to ever walk the earth... You love Godzilla.)

 Tons of carded SW figs

(You will never have enough Star Wars figures - you need multiples of your favorites)

 

(He-Man Rules!)

 

 (You need a Pinnochio figure to complete your Shrek collection.)

 

(No price is too high to pay for your very own Captain Picard figure...)

 A staggering amount of loose figures... including but not limited to Marvel Legends, MacFarlane Toys, Star Wars, Masters of the Universe, Transformers, Muppets, Star Trek, McDonald's Happy Meal toys, etc, etc... 

(You wish you owned every McDonalds Happy Meal toy from every movie you've ever liked. You will buy them at the Toy Fair. From me.)

Over 1000 great comics - Marvel, DC, Dark Horse, Image and more - Silver Age to Current - tons of blowout $1 comics...
(Rebel Alliance Canada has the best comics at the best prices anywhere. Marvel is still better than DC.)

Heroclix figures at $1 a pop...
(You want to play Heroclix - with figures you will buy from me.)

More Conan magazines and comics... I have so much Conan stuff right now that I think I'll be remembered as 'the Conan Guy'.
(You will bring a bag large enough to hold the 20+ lbs of awesome comics and toys you will buy from Rebel Alliance Canada. You especially love Conan the Barbarian.)

 I will have prints of my homemade comic Everyday Heroes for sale - autographed for free if you like...
(Everyday Heroes is the awesomest of all the awesome things available from Rebel Alliance Canada.)

But of course, there's lots of comics of all kinds... and toys of all kinds.
(The Avengers is coming to theaters very soon. You need to stock up on Avengers, Hulk, Iron Man and Captain America comics so you'll know what's going on. You will purchase said comics from me.)

Instead of my listing everything for you, I think you'd get a better idea of what you can find available from Rebel Alliance Canada when you arrive at my table in the Pearkes Arena, April 1st at Victoria's Ultimate Hobby & Toy Fair.

(Ultimate Hobby & Toy Fair April 1st in Victoria. No moment in your life will ever be better than this day.)

You are coming, right? The hypnosis should have kicked in by now... 

May the Force be with you... 

(Sucker.)

Captain America vs Pearl Jam

Yes - movie time again. Not like you really need to read my reviews, because you've probably already seen these films anyway... I'm usually pretty late with the review and most of my friends have long since seen the movie I'm talking about.

But y'know... the fact of the matter is, you actually do need to read this. My opinion is just so incredibly valuable that you simply have to read what I thought about a movie in order to fully understand it and form your own opinion, right? (Yeah right...)
These particular reviews are pretty important to me, and I'll explain why as I get into them. Let's just say that I was rather anxious to see both movies, and if you know me personally, you'd understand why. If you don't know me personally, you'd probably be better off not knowing me at all... I'm a pretty strange cat.

That, plus I don't need any online stalkers - thanks anyway.

***************************************

CAPTAIN AMERICA:

The First Avenger

Just like Green Lantern, Captain America, at least to me, has always been a sort of 'second string' comic book hero. I never really cared much about him. Ease up, Cap fans... before y'all get fixin' to lynch me, hear me out. Yes, he truly was one of the first Marvel Comics characters to see the light of day, having been around since, what, the 30s? 40s? And yes, he is definitely a major player in the Marvel Universe and is involved in every major event - the Marvel Civil War, the Secret Wars, key member of the Avengers... yadda yadda... But he ain't no Spider-Man, or Hulk, or even Wolverine. In fact, for a superhero, he's not really all that 'super'. Dude got some skills, granted, but he can't shoot webs or fly or lift a 747. I have actually found most Captain America comics to be quite dull to read compared to the rest of the Marvel line. And his costume, even in the comics, has always looked pretty silly to me.

Still, being such a huge Marvel fan, he's always been around whether I liked it or not, and I know stuff about him even without really wanting to. I felt a little bit obligated to see this movie. Marvel has rarely let me down for movies before (ok, there's a few stinkers in their collection) and given the quality of the movie adaptation of Thor, it couldn't be all that bad. I knew it would be another lead-in to The Avengers, which by now I truly cannot wait to see. This movie is like the last piece of the puzzle that we need to set up the main event. I figured that Captain America:The First Avenger would be okay and I could suffer through it just because... but I actually really enjoyed it, even more so than the aforementioned film about the fellow with the ring and the green spandex.

The movie was exciting, to be sure, full of action and cool stunt and fx sequences - even though it did lack some of the superheroey pizazz of some of the previous Marvel movies. (Did I spell pizazz right, Stan?) The Red Skull, played by Hugo (Elrond) Weaving, was a pretty neat villain - kind of like a juiced-up Uber-Nazi, but supposedly even more evil than that square-moustached guy. Of course, little scrawny Steve Rogers, recently juiced-up as well on the super-secret Super Soldier Serum, is the only one who can stop the Red Skull from succeeding in his insidious plot to blow up everything. There's a lot of acrobatic fighting, plenty of gun play and bombs going off, and enough shield-slinging action to keep even the most die hard Cap fan satisfied.

And I have to admit that I kind of like how they reworked his costume. It actually doesn't look as dorky as I was dreading. The Red Skull looked rather cool and menacing as well. Overall, the acting was good, and I think Chris Evans did a great job in the title role. Captain America has always seemed pretty square to me; a real goody two-shoes. He still came off that way in the film, but at least we are given good reasons for it all. For one thing, it appears as though Cap remains a virgin until the end of the movie - the 90 Year-old Virgin!

All (lame) jokes aside, you`d like this movie if you`re a fan of comic book movies, Marvel Comics, or action films in general. Not quite as good as Thor, but had a lot going for it and I can say that it was much, much better than I was expecting. Truly enjoyable.

Bring on The Avengers!!

A-

ps - Since I threw out all those links to info on other Marvel Characters, it`s only fair that I do the same for Captain America, since it is his movie after all...

*****************************************

PEARL JAM TWENTY

What can I say - I LOVE Pearl Jam. Every album, from Ten to Backspacer, is unique and awesome. I am listening to their music right now as I write this. I can't go more than 24 hours without listening to Pearl Jam or I get the shakes. I want the songs Corduroy and Given to Fly to be played at my funeral.

 (Remember that, family. In case you're thinking of planning it out in advance, you should also have The Empire Strikes Back playing on a big screen somewhere, and there should be readings from various issues of The Mighty Thor, Uncanny X-Men and The Lord of the Rings. Oh yeah, and rather than being buried or cremated, I want to be frozen in carbonite and hung on the wall like Han Solo.) 

Anyway, back to Pearl Jam... I knew before I watched it that I was going to LOVE this movie, and of course I did. In my totally biased opinion, I can say that this is the best 'rockumentary' made to date. PJ has always been a little bit of an enigma of a band; not very visible in the media overall, although they've had a bunch of huge hits over the years and a bit of controversy here and there... but it's their subtle masterpieces and humble determination that have always affected me. This movie sheds a good amount of light on the guys that I've heard literally a thousand different songs from in live and studio recordings and loved each and every one, but never really known much about as people. After seeing PJ20 (that's what the cool kids call it), I think I have even more respect for them. Sure, I guess no band is going to let a producer make a film about them and make them look anything but awesome, but I've seen a few rockumentaries (there's that word again) that can't cover up the fact that bands like Guns n' Roses and Motley Crue really are just a bunch of douchebags. All of the members of Pearl Jam just seem to me like a group of ordinary guys who like to play music and are really (really) good at it, and have managed to keep doing it their own way for twenty straight years without being gigantic in-your-face rock stars. With the talent they have, they could be, but they're even better because they are not.

OK, I'm getting pretty preachy about my favorite band, but if you ever want to know the reason why I like PJ so much, just sit down and listen to their music. I highly recommend the albums No Code, Vitalogy and the self-titled Pearl Jam. Or any album, or any song... or you could see this movie to get you started, I guess...

Pearl Jam Twenty is awesome. Pearl Jam is awesome. Cameron Crowe (the guy who made the movie) is awesome for making it. If you want to be awesome too, you'd better see this... then go out and get the entire PJ catalog. You want to be awesome, don't you?

A++

Yeah, you heard me... double plus for extra-extra-awesome.

...and since Captain America got one, Pearl Jam deserves a Wikipedia link too, as well as a link to their official website, pearljam.com.

**************************

So I guess if this truly were some sort of competition between Captain America and Pearl Jam, there's a pretty clear winner. As talented as he is, Cap's just not rock star material...

May the Force be with you...

Seriously Angry Action Figures

I know you've all been saying to yourselves: "All these nature photos are great, but when the hell is Andy gonna get back to talking about action figures?"

Ok, so not all of you are saying that... maybe a couple of you are... maybe no one is... Good thing I don't really listen to what people say about me, because life is just more fun that way.  I have a whole bunch of figures that I've picked up in the last few months, and I want to present them here to you. You may have seen a couple of them pop up in my web comic, Everyday Heroes, but I feel that they need a proper formal introduction. There are of course more Marvel than DC heroes here, and there's even one non-super type in there... Keep in mind that I rarely buy figures in the stores or at full retail price, so none of these are exactly new. You won't find "the latest, greatest action figure reviews" on this blog. What you will find are a few random and ridiculous comments about toys owned by a man who is far too old to be playing with them. If you've read my blog or seen any of my Flickr photos before, you'll know that I treat them in a most unorthodox manner... mine may be the only blog out there where you'll find the Silver Surfer sharing a jug of moonshine with Cletus the Slack-jawed Yokel...

None (or at least very little) of that craziness here today, however. No-siree. This here's serious business. Let's get to it then, shall we?

*******************************

D.C. Universe Classics -

Superman

You can't have a superhero collection without owning at least one Superman. He's the original; the oldest, the most easily recognizable, most iconic hero out there. Thing is, I really only want one Superman, so I searched high and low on Ebay to get the one version that I think looked the best. He is pretty cool-looking... pretty stern and serious, just like you'd expect from a guy who saves the world on an hourly basis. With a schedule as hectic as Supes must have, you ain't got time to f**k around. That's the beauty of owning a Superman figure, at least for me... his generally serious nature makes him the perfect straight man to balance out the more goofy characters like Sokka from Avatar:The Last Airbender, Howard the Duck, or Spider-man.

(Check out the last installment of Everyday Heroes to see what I mean...)

Anyway, this Superman figure is fully articulated and extremely well-sculpted... blah blah blah... I just think he'll look pretty funny wrestling farm animals and drinking margaritas with the Hulk...

...speaking of whom...

***************************

Marvel Legends Series 1 -

The Incredible Hulk

Just like Superman and Spider-man, you just can't have a superhero collection without this guy. Also, just like the aforementioned comic book icons, there are quite a few versions of the Hulk to choose from. The one I ended up with isn't necessarily the best in my opinion, but I got him for a song. He looks pretty stereotypically 'Hulk-ish' - ripped purple pants, gigantic bulging green muscles and a permanent angry look on his face. Looking at him, you can almost hear the words "HULK SMASH!!" coming out of his mouth. The only thing I don't like about this particular version is the fact that his fingers can't make a fist... a Hulk with no fists? That's like a Spidey with no webs! Or the Punisher with no guns!!

*******************************

Marvel Legends -

Punisher

Okay, so I am not a big fan of this character... in fact, I think he's about the dumbest addition to the Marvel Universe ever. I mean, c'mon... a guy with a skull on his shirt that has absolutely no super powers and just shoots the bad guys with a bunch of military-grade rifles and machine guns? Not for me, thanks. Yeah, yeah, I know there's a huge Punisher fan base out there... he's got a tragic and complicated backstory and his comics are full of gritty realism.... but Marvel makes comic books people! It just doesn't work for me to have the Punisher interacting with the likes of the Mighty Thor or the Fantastic Four. What I personally enjoy is the goofy, non-realistic side of comic books. If I want to see a Vietnam Vet running around shooting people, I'll watch Rambo... actually I wouldn't, because those films are even stupider than any Punisher comic book out there.

So why do I own this figure, you ask? Well, I certainly got him cheap enough... I think I paid $5 for him at a trade show, and he came with everything you see in the above photo except for the handgun (glock?). Again, he's another one of those 'angry' action figures that might look funny sitting in Barbie's Dream Mansion. (You may remember that I have two young daughters who have a ton of girly toys... I swear that I don't personally own any Barbies or Barbie-related accessories.) Best part about the Punisher is the M-16 that he came with... I'm not any kind of a gun nut mind you, but there are a lot of comedic possibilities with weapons of any sort.

(*insert psychotic laughter here*)

**********************

Marvel Legends Series 6 -

Wolverine

There are a billion versions of this guy too. This one is by far the coolest one - the legendary 'Brown Suit' Wolverine. He was originally packaged with a sort of 'dojo' backdrop, complete with Sensei. Of course, like most of my Marvel Legends collection, he was purchased loose (ie; unpackaged) and I didn't get any accessories with him. My Brown Wolverine has some wonky bends in his claws too - I guess that's why I got him so cheap... from Hong Kong no less. I guess he was a 'factory second' or something like that.

In any case, he's badass, and he sports a sneer nasty enough to rival the great Billy Idol. As a sidenote, I don't know what the odds are on this, but it seems that every single one of the figures in this particular batch are sculpted to look seriously pissed off. Come to think of it, I think the only figures that I own that are actually smiling are the Green Goblin (more of a maniacal grin, really) and Ghost Rider (who can't help looking that way... he has no lips, eyes, eyebrows or any other facial features whatsoever... he's all skull and teeth!)

Back to Wolverine... Of course, I'm going to have to pose him with the Hulk to re-create the endlessly re-created first meeting of these two... seems they just can't leave each other alone. True to form, Wolvie (Logan to his friends) is scaled a good bit shorter than many other ML figs. Put him next to the Hulkster and he looks absolutely tiny... but still nasty of course...

***********************

Marvel Legends -

The Savage She-Hulk

If you thought all those dudes looked angry, get a load of She-Hulk. Although she's not nearly as gigantic as the better known He-Hulk, she's taller than most other superhero figs of the same 6" scale, male or female. She's got a crazy greenish-black rat's nest of hair and a face seething with unchecked rage. Her left hand is sculpted as though she's about ready to claw your eyes out with her long green fingernails... more like ready claw your entire face off...

There are of course multiple versions of everyone's favorite gamma glamour queen, but the the Savage She-Hulk is definitely more desirable. Here's why:

*Removeable dress - Hello!!!*

Well, that good enough reason for ya, Fanboy? With a bod like that, she's going to cause quite a stir in the world of Everyday Heroes.

**********************

D.C. Universe Classics -

Aquaman

I have a special place in my heart for Aquaman... I mean, I've always found him a little bit lame, but I kind of feel sorry for him. I think it's the orange shirt, really. That and the fact that, although he's always been a Justice League alumni, he's not really in the same 'league' as the other DC heroes. Batman has the whole detective/gadget shtick down pat, Green Lantern can create physical manifestations of anything he can imagine, the Flash can run around the world in like 5 seconds, and Superman... well, Superman can do just about anything. Aquaman, on the other hand, can swim really fast and speak with fish. Given the fact that most Justice League adventures take place on dry land, well... he's just a little bit useless.

This photo isn't a great indication, but his figure sports a very stoic look on his face... almost as if he's about to snap... Maybe he's been overhearing all the trash-talk that the other heroes have been doing behind his back.

Oh, and I didn't get his awesome trident when I bought him. Personally, I think he looks better sporting the Punisher's M-16:

(Spidey had this comin'...)

***********************************

NECA Toys -

Classic Predator

Not a superhero, nor a supervillain; just a kickass huge scary-looking alien. You've got to love the Predators. These guys have taken on Ridley Scott's Aliens, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jesse 'The Body' Ventura, Carl Weathers, Danny Glover and even Adrian Brody. (For some reason, that last one doesn't sound all that impressive...) They've got infrared heat-vision, a personal cloaking device, poison darts, spears, guns, claws and just about any other doo-dad you can imagine. Each one of them is kind of like a seven foot tall Batman on acid.

Although I only have a passing interest in the Predator film franchise, you have to admit that the figure is a pretty cool one to have. I don't know if he came with any accessories or not. I only received what you see in the photo for my $6 (shipping included!). It's amazing what kind of deals you can get when you don't mind ordering from Asia and waiting two months for shipment...

I guess that this guy doesn't really qualify as an 'angry' action figure, but it is pretty hard to imagine that there's a big happy smile under that facemask.

****************************************

That about does it for now. I have been promising another episode of my web comic for at least two months now, and I'm just now finally getting around to doing it.  Uh, hello? If you've been keeping up, you'd know that I just recently relocated my entire family to another province... kinda keeps ya busy, y'know?

I'll try to keep a little more up-to-date with this blog in the coming months, but please don't get on my case.

In the immortal words of Bill Bixby:

"Don't make me angry - you wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

Until we meet again,

May the Force be with you...

Fist of the Samurai Schmuck

Once again, it's been what seems like an eternity between posts for me, but I don't like to put anything out there if I don't really have anything worthy to say. This time around, I'm going to pump out some quick movie reviews to hopefully get things going on this blog again, mostly just to let you know that I'm still here and I'm not dead or anything.

I've told you before that I am an avid Netflix watcher, and all but one of these films were viewed on there. I think I like the ability to instantly watch some obscure movie that I've always wanted to see but never wanted to pay for. Yes, I guess I am paying for it with my monthly subscription fee, but I can always turn off a movie that I don't like and start watching something else. There's enough stuff on there that I feel I could never be stuck without something worth watching.

(Once again, Netflix Execs can contact me and send payment for my advertising services at any time...)

Here are some notable films I've seen recently, good and bad:

**********************************

Kagemusha

Excellent film! I was impressed by Kurosawa's The Seven Samurai, generally regarded as one of the best movies ever made, but I was equally blown away by Kagemusha, which was made some 26 years later with a much bigger budget. Now I am not by nature an 'artsy-fartsy' film fan, as a lot of fans of Kurosawa seem to be, but something is very cool about watching his movies... like I'm learning something about Japanese culture and history and being entertained at the same time. And who doesn't like watching movies about Samurai?

This film is about a thief who impersonates the Warlord Shingen after his death in order to keep his passing secret. He does it so well and resembles him so strongly that he manages to fool the enemy as well as members of his own household, who are utterly convinced that the imposter is truly Lord Shingen. I guess you could say it's kind of like the same story as Garfield:A Tale of Two Kitties, but there's no talking animals and no happy ending where Garfield and Odie go home with Jennifer Love Hewitt. In fact, it's sort of tragic and not really happy at all...

Visually, this is a very compelling movie - the sets and landscapes are all beautiful,  the costumes are elaborate and the battle scenes are epic and realistic. Kagemusha has the same slow and steady pacing that you'd expect from Akira Kurosawa, but I think this really allows one to feel immersed in the setting and fully absorb the weight of the situations presented in the story. Although I don't think I could accurately describe it to someone who's never seen this type of film before, I highly recommend it to anyone who actually likes to think while they're watching movies. It makes you feel smart for having watched it. There, I said it.

A+

Fist of the North Star

This actually made me feel dumber for having seen it. I honestly don't know what to say about this..... Wow. This is one of the weirdest and stupidest movies I've seen in a long time... The film is set in a post-apocalyptic (ie: Road Warrior -like) world where only the greatest martial artists and the most desperate peasants survive, and only one man can rise against the oppressive regime of the ruling Southern Cross Kung Fu school. So... basically, civilization as we know it depends solely on the 'Fist of the North Star', a guy who looks like the lead singer of a crappy 80's glam-metal band that can make people's heads and inner organs explode just by punching them rapidly and repeatedly in certain deadly pressure points. That's the jist of it. Yeah, there's some other stuff about avenging the dead father and fulfilling the one's destiny, yadda yadda... standard fantasy stuff.... whatever.

This straight-to-video monstrosity is based on what I'm told is a far superior manga epic by the same name. Maybe it's the live action aspect of it that doesn't translate so well... Perhaps it could be the poor acting by the lead characters, who seem to have been cast mostly for their martial arts prowess (Christopher Penn as an evil henchman is by far the best actor in this film, but his kung fu just isn't there...)... Maybe it's the low-budget, ridiculous-looking gore you see throughout the film.... Whatever. Who cares. It sucks. It sucks bad enough to be funny, but it's not funny enough to keep you watching it. I think I only made it about 3/4 of the way through this, so I guess this really isn't a qualified review. I suppose something drastic could have happened in the last 20 minutes to redeem the rest of this Hollywood hack job, but I wasn't about to stick around to find out. I guess you could put this on for a laugh if you're a sucker for terrible movies, but for God's sake, please don't pay for it!

D-

 

Dinner For Schmucks

Yes, it's as funny as you would expect. Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd are great together as usual, and Zach Galfiankis puts in a worthy cameo too. There's way too much crazy stuff in here to talk about, but let's just say that I almost wet myself several times. Being a fan of dioramas and miniature scenery, I'd have to say that one of my favorite things about the movie was Barry(Steve Carrell)'s dead mouse creations. Call me a schmuck if you will, but this is basically the same type of thing that I love to do with toys and action figures instead of mice...

Dinner For Schmucks follows a typical comedy movie template - ie: nice guy does something unusual or not so nice to get ahead in life with hilarious results, girlfriend leaves and/or everyone hates him, makes a big speech/heartfelt apology and everything turns out fine for the protagonist, and all the jerks get their comeuppance in the end. Oh well - we see comedies to laugh, not for the original or realistic plots. This film is full of funny people doing what they do best. Not the best comedy I've seen all year, but it's definitely worth a viewing.

B

Percy Jackson and the Olympians:

The Lightning Thief

I won't say much about this other than to give it the distinction of being a blatant American Harry Potter rip-off. The special effects are neat, and the Greek Mythology aspect is interesting, but the whole thing goes through the motions methodically, predictably and flat. Cool CGI monsters aside, it's all a bunch of blah-blah-blah epic world-saving magic sword/magic amulet/magic map/treasure hunt whatever. Seen it all before, just in different combinations and dressed up in different backgrounds and settings.

"You're a wizard, Harry!"

...no wait...

"You're a Demigod, Percy!"

C

 

******************************

 

As you can see, I don't like everything, and I don't hate everything either. I have a big backlog of movies I want to review, but so little time to do it. Don't be surprised if it's another month between movie reviews - if in fact that is what you tuned in for.

 

BTW, if you came here looking for zany superhero antics, Everyday Heroes #5  is on the way and will follow shortly. Don't worry - this time around it won't be nearly as long as the last one...

 

Take care for now.

 

May the Force be with you...