Filling the Void...

Well....my Star Wars Miniatures collection is now gone. *sniff* *sob* They sold for a nice fair price on EBay to a lucky fella in the US and I just dropped the parcel at the post office this morning. Godspeed, little minis! I hope you like your new home! I hope your new owner takes good care of you, and takes you out to play often.....

(Thanks to everyone for their interest and to everyone who bid on the auction BTW)

As I said before, I`ve held on to the complete first set (Rebel Storm) for nostalgic purposes....I`m hoping that someday I can get my wife to play nightly games of Star Wars Minis when we`re retired and driving around in our behemoth RV... I`m sure I`ll have to watch a whole lot of Sandra Bullock movies and go to a lot of craft shows until then to get her to agree to that....

So what do I do now? What will fill the void left behind now that Star Wars Miniatures is gone? Well, I do have a few ideas....

GUILD WARS

I picked up this game about 3 weeks ago....and I'm frightened by it. This is my first experience with online gaming (other than Boggle Bash and Scrabble) and I'm afraid that I'll get eaten alive by twelve year-olds and hackers. I've only created one character so far, and I think I'm like 2nd or 3rd level after about 5 hours of playing time. It seems really awesome, but I really need to learn the controls better if I expect to get anywhere in the game without dying every 5 minutes. No, the picture above is not from me - I'm not quite at the 'Dragonslaying' stage just yet. (My apologies to whoever owns this image for my using it without consent, but it's an awesome picture, and it's not like I'm taking credit for it or making any money off of it.) Definitely not me - I'm still having trouble fighting giant worms that pop out of the ground and stand still in one spot - I'm a Newbie, through and through. Also, I can't type fast enough to chat with anyone in-game....they just walk away when I'm still typing.

Be that as it may, it seems to me like it'll be worth the struggle to play it. The graphics are amazing and the possibilities seem endless. I'd comment on the storyline, but so far I'm so overwhelmed with new information that I have no idea what's going on in the story......if there even is one. All of the mini-quests that I've accepted and/or completed are pretty standard fantasy story stuff but I've got no complaints - that's what I signed up for. 

But of course, who has time for video games when you've got all this other cool stuff to do....

For example:

HEROCLIX

Although I've always been interested in Heroclix and even own a handful of figs, I have never played a game. I've skimmed over the rules and it seems pretty straightforward like SWM - basically move and attack and roll to hit - but with six-sided instead of twenty-sided dice. Instead of the Star Wars motif, we're dealing with comic book characters, so this is an acceptable trade-off for me. I believe that the two types are interchangeable, but I think I would prefer to invest in the MARVEL instead of DC Heroclix. There's also HORRORCLIX as well, but I'm not so into that and I hear it doesn't adapt directly to the other games. Of course, I`ll have to start buying into another collectible miniatures game that makes you spend all your money chasing after the rarest and best figures.....it would be just like Star Wars Miniatures, and the whole thing`ll start all over again...

Whatever. I just want to see Wolverine dukin`it out with Howard the Duck amongst the smoldering ruins of Asgard.

`Nuff said!

(click on image above to view larger)

COMIC LIFE

And, speaking of geeky comic book weirdness, I just got an awesome program (Comic Life) that allows you to easily create comic book-style pages with your photos. This opens up a whole new world for me and my toy photography. What you see above is my very first go at it with a bunch of old photos that you've probably seen on my blog countless times already...of course with the same jokes too. That says two things:  1) I really need to take some new pictures...and  2) I really, really need new jokes.

The program is so easy that a child could use it - and they do. I actually learned about it from a teacher that uses it in her class for assignments...

Man, I wish I had this when I was a kid... but then again, when I was a kid, most computers took up an entire room and only printed in dot matrix... When I was a kid, I used to hand draw a lot of comic book 'masterpieces' and even though the artwork was crude (as was the humor) it still took forever to make a single page. Now I can just drag and drop my photos right in to the templates and type in voice bubbles wherever I want! Although it may seem like no big whoop to you...this program is definitely going to see a lot of use from yours truly.

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There are a lot more other things that I could/should do with my time now that I won't be playing SWM anymore (well, I'll still play, but certainly not as often), and I'll highlight some of those things on upcoming blogs. I should probably focus on my photo business and website (Rebel Alliance Photo), but the in and outs of wedding and portrait photography aren't really all that fun to write about. I'll of course be featuring more comics and action figures again soon, and I'll get back to some more movie reviews too - once I actually get to see some more movies...

That's it for today. Take care, and thanks again for listening.

May the Force be with you...

5 Comics to Read Before You Die (The Comic Book Bucket List Part 1)

I guess you could call this "The Comic Bucket List".....You know....like the movie The Bucket List (which I've yet to see)....the two old guys who decide to do all the things on their lists of things to do before they 'kick the bucket'. This post is not so much about the things that I accomplish before I reach my deathbed.....but what I'll be reading on my deathbed. I vow to have a big stack of comics right beside me as I pass over into the Great Beyond - maybe even a longbox full of comics tucked under said deathbed....just in case I want to skim through Secret Wars before I croak.

Seriously though, this is an attempt to present a few of my all-time favorite comics and recommend them to you (highly). Since I've read so many great ones, it's impossible to list all of them in one post, so I'll highlight them a few at a time, starting with these ones right here today.

 I'll start with a 'Canadian Classic':



ALPHA FLIGHT # 23

Truth be told, this comic doesn't come from Canada at all, but at least writer/artist John Byrne actually lived in Canada and all of the stories take place here....and at least one major character gets to say 'eh' all the time, eh?  I've spouted off plenty about Alpha Flight and Sasquatch before, and I don't feel like repeating myself (yeah....like I never do that). If you are really dying to know more about this awesome comic title and Sasquatch in particular, check out this previous post,  Marvel Legends - Sasquatch . I'm pretty sure there's a full synopsis of this issue in there.....

Let's just say it's all about two giant bigfoots(feets?) laying the smackdown in downtown Vancouver. Throw in a hot Quebecois girlfriend with a multiple personality disorder and a Dwarf in a wetsuit and you've got a rollicking good time, eh?

ROCKET RACCOON Limited Series (1985) # 1-4

Although I had erroneously stated in a previous post that Rocket Raccoon was first introduced in The Incredible Hulk #271 in 1982 (see Bronze Age Keys  from a little while back), I just read that his first appearance was actually in 1976 in Marvel Preview #7. So I was wrong...sue me. None of that matters, because the Rocket Raccoon  limited series in 1985 was the pinnacle of Rocky's career in my humble opinion.

Like I said before, this isn't for everyone, but I found it to be an excellent read, and the artwork by Mike Mignola (later famous for Hellboy, of course) is fantastic. It's a silly-looking comic that actually takes itself pretty seriously and manages to pull it off. I preferred the limited series over Rocky's Hulk appearances, since we didn't have the Hulk as an earth-based counterpoint, and it takes place entirely within it's own universe. I guess that makes it more 'believable' to me...and easier to accept a gunslinging, robot-fighting bipedal talking raccoon....and let's not forget the otter and rabbit and walrus either.

READ IT! BEFORE YOU DIE!!

AMBUSH BUG Limited Series (1985) # 1-4

Early on in my comic collecting life, I was a bit of a DC hater. I didn't actually know why, I just knew that Marvel comics were cooler. Maybe I just couldn't forgive the cheesiness of The Superfriends and the 60's Batman TV show (and let's not forget the Shazam! show...). It took me a while to get over my fear of DC comics... I think Saga of the Swamp Thing #1 was my actual first DC Comic purchase, but then I eventually got wise to Vigilante and then the greatest DC non-superhero of all time: Ambush Bug.

This limited series is jam-packed full of jokes, many of which I didn't understand, since they were about characters and situations in the DC Universe that I knew little to nothing about. This comic is DC's way of making fun of itself, and that obviously appealed to me. I found myself actually wanting to know more about Superman & Batman & Wonderwoman and the like, just so I could get the jokes in Ambush Bug. That being said, I wasn't going to risk wasting my money buying more DC comics while the Secret Wars limited series was going on... Besides the abovementioned titles, I didn't buy many DCs at all until this millenium (sounds like a really long time when you use the word 'millenium').

Anyway, Ambush Bug rules because he's basically aware of his audience and his place in the fictional comic book world....and constantly refers to us readers as 'fanboy'. His sidekick is a seemingly inanimate, super-cutesy doll in a homemade super-suit named Cheeks the Wonder Toy. His arch-enemy is Argh!Yle! an evil, sentient sock who wears a Dr. Doom-like iron mask. Ambush Bug himself has only one real power - teleportation. This allows him to basically disappear and reappear wherever it's funniest to do so.

Overall, one of the stupidest comic series that I've ever read....followed closely by the Ambush Bug Stocking Stuffer #1 (X-mas 1985) and the Son of Ambush Bug limited series (1986). There's also the recently produced Ambush Bug-Year None limited series which sort of recaptures the stupidity of the original. Rest assured there are a lot more stupid Ambush Bug appearances...all of which I'll hopefully read before the final curtain....

By now, one might assume that all I like are silly comics, but you couldn't be more mistaken. Case in point:

ELRIC-The Sailor on the Seas of Fate # 1-7

I love the writings of Michael Moorcock. His books are always full of violence and gore and the occasional bit of sex. Pretty raunchy for the fantasy genre. He has produced a lot of great characters, including Prince Corum, Hawkmoon and Jerry Cornelius....but his greatest and most well-known character has to be Elric of Melnibone - the gaunt, brooding albino anti-hero, who (with the help of the sentient, soul-stealing black sword Stormbringer) feeds off of the life energy of his opponents. He's kind of evil, but usually finds himself combating far greater evils and protecting the innocent as well as those few he can call 'friend'. Initially unknown to Elric, his life is all part of the cycle of the Eternal Champion...as are Corum, Hawkmoon and Erekose...all of whom he meets in this limited series (adapted from the novel of the same name) and allies himself with.

The comic book adaptation is done by Roy Thomas and Michael T. Gilbert. Very well done, in fact. Being a 'Mature Readers Only' comic, you could always expect a good level of gore, and at least you could catch a glimpse or two of some boobies in comic book form every month (this was, of course, very important at age 13). I can't remember if I actually read these comics or the novels first. There are comic book adaptations of at least six Elric novels that I know of, and I don't know what order I read either the comics or books in. Sailor on the Seas of Fate is my favorite, and The Vanishing Tower is a close second.

When it comes to 'swords and sorcery' type fantasy, Elric has to be my favorite character. No disrespect, but he's so not Conan.

GODZILLA - King of the Monsters # 1 (Marvel 1977)

I just couldn't go any further without mentioning Godzilla. I am a die-hard G-fan for life and appreciate Godzilla in all his forms, the 70's Marvel version being no exception. He's more like the real Japanese Godzilla in this than in the  Godzilla animated series from roughly the same era, and certainly more than the disappointing 1998 Hollywood production, but still not quite the same. According to this comic, he appears in Alaska and then makes his way across the western United States and somehow finds his way to New York City. Along the way he encounters many Marvel Universe icons, like S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, the Fantastic Four and the Avengers...and less iconic characters such as Dr. Demonicus and the Champions. While it's nice to see Big G battling Thor and Hercules, it just doesn't feel quite right. Instead of blue radiation beams, Godzilla apparently spews actual flames from his mouth. He also looks a lot more lizard-like and leaner than his Toho counterpart. Still, it's great fun to see how America would deal with this walking natural disaster instead of seeing the same old crowd scenes of Japanese people running around in utter panic. (And there's no horrible voice-over dubbing in the printed version either.)

If you call yourself a giant monster fan at all, you absolutely need to own this comic. Next to Alpha Flight # 23 , this is the one comic I wish I could take with me to the next world when I die. I'm hoping they'll at least allow for carry-on luggage so I can take more than one...

If that is the case...y'all better start packing! Don't forget to include these titles on your Comic Book Bucket List, and stay tuned for some more essential reading!


Until Next time,

May the Force be with you...

STAR WARS MINIATURES GAME - My collection for SALE!!

Just to give y'all a heads up if you're into this type of thing - 

 I just listed a HUGE lot of Star Wars Miniatures on EBay. I've decided to keep only the complete Rebel Storm set, as it was the first set released and the first set I completed, but...

 everything else must go!! 

 It's hard to let go of my beloved collection of so many,so very cool little plastic men (and women ...and wookiees and droids of course), but in all honesty, I could certainly use the money a lot more than the minis...

(Sorry about the crappy photos...I didn't have a lot of time to do this...)

I thought that, rather than milk it forever and try to sell off the figures seperately or in smaller lots, why not just put them all together in one massive lot. Being as hardcore into this game as I have been over the years, it'll make it less painful for me as well, I suppose, if I just get rid of them all at once and quit cold turkey....

In all, there are over a thousand miniatures in this one-time-only auction, plus a great collection of maps, rulebooks, counters and promo items. I've played games with almost all of them, but there are a good number of these minis that have never seen the light of day...  So yes, they are used, but no, they are not abused. There's a good number of Very Rares and a ton of Rare figures in there, plus legions of Stormtroopers, gangs of Gungans, clusters of Clones, regiments of Rebels, tons of Tuskens and at least enough scum and villainy to fill several wretched hives to capacity...

Instant armies at your disposal...

 

 

To the best of my knowledge, all stat cards for all figures are included, although there may be, like 12 Stormtroopers and only 11 Stormtrooper cards or something like that...but Stormies are all the same, right? There definitely would never be any unique characters that are missing cards. I've taken good care of my little plastic men over the years.

So anyway, if you're interested in my (ex-)collection, have a look at the auction here:

GIGANTIC Star Wars Lot - EBay.ca

 

If you have any questions about this auction, you can contact me through EBay or through email or this blog or whatever works. BTW, even though the auction says shipping only to US/Canada, I could possibly ship to other countries as well, but it's going to get expensive...we're talkin' 25lbs of little plastic men here, for the love of Yoda...

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Thanks for taking a look, even if you don't care about Star Wars Miniatures at all. At least this gives you some idea where all my time and money has gone over the last 6 years....well, this and comic books...

Thanks again for listening.

May the Force be with you...

Andy's Brag Blog

I know I say I don't like to brag, but here's a quick list of recent statistics and accomplishments that make me feel good about myself and how I'm doing:

 1) Current total number of hits on this blog  = 1606  - Now, I just recently stopped registering my own views with the counter, so at least a few hundred of those have to be me...I'm pretty critical of myself.

 2) List of countries that recorded hits on this page = Canada, USA, Great Britain, Denmark, China, South Korea, Slovenia, Spain, Brazil, Russia, Indonesia, Finland, Poland, Argentina, Netherlands, Iran, France, Australia, South Africa and Turkey. - I get the most views from Canada and the States, but there's more than a few countries that recorded more than 10 hits, making me hope that these are people who actually read and enjoy this blog rather than just someone trying to hack me or something...  Paranoia aside, it's pretty cool to think that someone on the other side of the world might like something I wrote.

 3) Had a better-than-expected experience at Central Canada Comic Con 2010. - Of course I just wrote about this last time, but it was great and I can't wait until next year. I'm just one guy (even though I had some help here and there), and definitely the 'little guy' compared to most of the other vendors and artists at the con, but I was pretty happy with how I did. Hope everyone enjoys their comics and figures and stuff! I'll have a lot more up for grabs soon!

 4) Recently taught myself to play and sing "Are You Experienced?" by Jimi Hendrix.  - No, I can't play it backwards like it's recorded or left-handed like Jimi....and I can't do much for a solo yet, but I think I can do a passable version that might earn me a few busking bucks....Not that I've ever actually 'busked' before....the guys you see playing guitar out in public always seem to be either super-good or super-crappy (and/or super-drunk). I'm not sure which category I'd fall into. I've been in several bands and played live a few dozen times in my life, but never solo, so maybe it's time to get out and play. I'll keep you posted if I'm getting anywhere near this....

 5) Basement renovations are 90% complete.  - I can't take much credit for this - I slacked off a lot. I am not a fan of this type of work and I'm not very good at it. A huge thank you to my wife and (especially) her dad for 'gittin' er done' and figuring out all the nitty little details that I hate so much as well as doing the bulk of the work. There's still some trim and doors to do, but it's now pretty functional down there and pretty nice to look at compared to the dungeon it used to be...

 6) My collection of 'Harry Potter' movies is now complete and up to date.  - We recently watched them all in order over the span of a week or two. I enjoy the series a lot (does that make me a Potterhead?), and I'm excited to see the next installment. I think splitting Deathly Hallows into two films will turn out to be a great idea, although I'm saying that as someone who hasn't read the book and doesn't know what's going to happen.

 7) Set up a wireless network in my home (with help) and learned how to stream media and share files between computers.  - Many of you probably have no trouble at all with this sort of thing, but this was another of those 'too many details to deal with' types of tasks for me. It feels good to get it all going and it's cool to be able to manage it all so easily. Let's hope I use it wisely - with great power comes great responsibility...

 8) Earnings in my Google Adsense account so far = $0.01  - Obviously not enough to retire on, but it's all symbolic,y'know? Feel free to click on some ads on my blog - help a brother out, willya?

Anyway, that's an octet of awesome things that are going on for me lately. Hopefully, life is treating you all good too.


May the Force be with you...

Comic Con / Halloween 2010





First off, I want to do a big shout out to all the folks who helped make this year's Comic Con a huge success for a small-time guy like me. I sold a lot of comics and figures, and I passed out a ton of business cards. (Also a gigantic Thank You with hugs n' kisses to my wife for helping me out)

It seems kind of silly of me to direct so many folks to this blog lately, and not have any new content for like 2 weeks...... Suddenly, for someone who normally can't seem to ever shut up, my communication skills don't seem to be all that hot. Truth is, I am burnt out beyond belief, especially when it comes to comics, action figures and other sci-fi/pop culture-type stuff. It seems like all I've been doing lately is organizing, pricing, transporting and handling comic books, games and toys. I never thought I'd say this, but I don't even want to look at another comic right now. (Maybe after a few days off from my real job...)

As I'm sure you gathered from all that shameless self-promotion (or 'SSP') in my previous posts, I spent this past Halloween weekend as a vendor at the Central Canada Comic Con here in Winnipeg. It was a great time, and I sold a lot more stuff than I'd expected to. Met a lot of cool people there too. I'm hoping that some of you out there who are reading this ran into me at the convention. If that's the case, and you're new 'round these here parts, welcome to ALLIANCE of ONE, the official blog of Rebel Alliance Canada! Hope I don't waste your time.....

There has been some other great stuff happening too. My daughters had a fantastic Halloween (or so I am told - I was too busy with the comic con to actually do any trick or treating with them). Daphne was the cutest little Ballerina and Chloe went as the Corpse Bride (from the movie of the same name). They must have done pretty well, since there were two gigantic bowls full of candy on the kitchen counter when I got home that night....

Also, we just recently got a new cat - a little grey and white kitten named Momo. She's still pretty shy around people, but she's really gotten attached to our other cat Pepper in the last two weeks. She can't seem to leave him alone, and even though he pretends that he doesn't like her, you can tell he loves the companionship (just like a typical male, right ladies?). It's been almost exactly a year since we got Pepper. If the current trend continues, by Halloween 2018 we should have 10 cats and be running our own comic con....

I also just purchased a brand new laptop, and I love it! I'm hoping it's going to inspire me to blog more, and hopefully it'll allow me to work 'on the go', even though I don't really ever go anywhere.... Main reason I got it was simply to have a better, faster computer that I can edit photos and play games on, and also use as a portable digital portfolio. It's taking me a while to get used to the smaller keyboard and the pointing device, but at the rate I'm using my laptop in the two days since I got it, I'll have mastered it in a week or two.

If you met me at the comic con and are looking for more info on the things I sell, I'm sorry you had to read this far and hear all about my personal life when all you are looking for is some more cool stuff to buy. In the future, I'm hoping to sell items directly through this blog, but for now I'm limited to my EBay store, which is actually pretty barren right now since I was saving everything for the con and have yet to get a chance to list what I've got left (see 'Essential Links' in the upper right hand corner of this blog). Any items or photos seen on this blog can be purchased locally from me as well. Email me for details ( andonator2000@yahoo.ca ). Watch out for some Kijiji ads maybe too....

As always, thanks for spending the time to read this blog. I promise I'll be back with some actual fun stuff soon.

May the Force be with you...

How to Train Jonah Hex

I went to the local Blockbuster the other day and grabbed two new movies, two of the 'big' releases for the week. (You know, when they basically fill an entire wall with just one movie - and they're all out...)  One of these two, I liked a lot. The other made me shake my head in disgust.... can you guess which one?

Jonah Hex  (2010)

I've only ever owned and/or read perhaps a dozen Jonah Hex comics in my time, and enjoyed every one of them, but I'll admit that I'm really just a casual fan of the series. Westerns are not really my thing, but JH stands out amongst them. When reading an issue, it always felt like I was watching Clint Eastwood in like, Unforgiven in comic book form.....but his face is all f**ked up. He was a bounty hunter, and like Clint, he shot a lot of people -  dead. Other than that, I don't know a lot about the character, but I'm pretty sure that if I were a hardcore 'Hexer' I'd wanna shoot somebody real dead for making this horrible mockery of one of comicdom's truly standout characters (I mean he stands out cuz he's cool....not just cuz he's ugly).

My knowledge of Hexology being what it is, I couldn't tell you what kind of supernatural powers Jonah ever had in the comics (if any at all), but the whole 'speaking with the dead' shtick was very awkward in this film. I don't remember ever reading about anything like this, but of course it's been a while, and I've never read any Jonah Hex comics that had a cover price of more than .60c (.75c in Canada).... I also do not remember Jonah having an arch-enemy, especially one who was an 1870's terrorist bent on bringing down the Government. And he certainly did not work with or for the President of the United States...

Josh Brolin is pretty lifeless as Hex, but I guess that's forgivable given the ridiculous plot and dialogue. John Malkovich is John Malkovich. He's the same in everything. It's like he just walked off of the set of Con Air and popped a cowboy hat on his head. Megan Fox (in the ironically perfectly cast role of an Old West saloon whore), is of course in this too. In fact, you'd think she played Jonah Hex himself the way the studio hyped-up her appearance in this movie. The above image was the first one I could find that didn't have Megan Fox in it when I did a Google image search for " Jonah Hex movie ", and I found it on Page 5. Her role in the film is actually pretty brief and meaningless....hopefully like her career. Sorry, Meg. Not a fan.

Speaking of fans, the makers of this movie are obviously not Jonah Hex fans. If they were, this would have been a much better movie. It seemed to me that they knew even less about the character than I did...or if they did know more, they chose to ignore anything that didn't fit within the cheesy action movie formula that they believe works so well. It's like they pulled Jonah Hex's name out of a hat and stuck him into a movie that was already (lamely) written. I know I've said this exact thing before about other movies, but it's just really disappointing to see all the same old story templates used over and over and over again with little to no originality in there at all (this one was the oft-seen 'Revenge' template - very appropriate for Westerns, I'm told). I guess you just can't take too many chances with someone else's $100 Million.

What I think bothers me the most is that Jonah Hex had the potential to be a really entertaining in that they could have gone way over the top and made it even cheesier - played it for laughs. The filmmakers didn't even do this right (although there were a few laughably awful moments). I think they took their jobs too seriously and actually thought they'd pull off a quality movie from all of this. They were wrong. Dead wrong.

Bang.

D (for Don't see it)

How To Train Your Dragon  (2010)

I have enjoyed most of the big-budget CGI animated movies that have been released in the last five years or so, and this is of course no exception. For some reason, they always get me. Of course, I realize that when it comes to predictability and cookie cutter storylines (see Jonah Hex, above), these types of films are usually the worst culprits, but let me explain. I can forgive Dreamworks and Pixar and the rest for this for a number of reasons.... 3 Good Reasons, in fact.

1 - These movies are mainly aimed at families and young kids, so the morals and themes need to be a lot more clearly defined and easier to follow.

2 - The normally highly recognizable voice actors tend to really 'give it their all' in the recording booth and often become hilarious parodies of themselves

(ie: Eddie Murphy as Donkey, Don Rickles as Mr. Potato Head, Ellen DeGeneres as Dori)

3 - The animation looks so incredibly cool that you can overlook the predictable story

(ie; Lighten up. It's a friggin' cartoon...)

How To Train Your Dragon is no exception on any of these points. It's less predictable than some, but the title pretty much sums it all up. A skinny loser boy from a Viking village beset by dragons wants to prove himself and earn his place in the fold. When given the opportunity to kill a dragon, he instead takes pity on it and nurses it back to health. The dragon becomes like a pet to him and eventually the hero learns to ride it, being the first Viking to ever do so instead of slaying dragons on sight.

The supporting cast are all good, and Gerard Butler is excellent in his role as the Viking chieftan and father to Hiccup (the main character, played by Jay Baruchel). Forget 300, this was the role Gerard was born to play. He's the most extreme Viking to hit the screen to date - we'll see if that still holds true after Thor comes out in 2011. Craig Ferguson is also pretty funny as the peg-legged veteran Viking who takes Hiccup under his wing to teach him how to slay dragons.

The main dragon in this film (Toothless, the Night Fury) is very cool looking and has a very original, almost cat-like design to him.  All told, most of the dragons in this movie don't look much at all like the typical dragons you see in everything else. They all have unique characteristics and body styles and there are a whole bunch of different types of them. A nice touch that kept things interesting.

See it! It's a cool story with neat special effects that you could watch with your kids. In my opinion, this is how all great fantasy and sci-fi stories should be brought to the big screen. You hear that, Peter Jackson? I say forget all the troubles in New Zealand with casting halfling-sized extras and body doubles for The Hobbit. Scrap all that. Come to North America and do the whole thing CGI.

A-   (for Approaching Awesome)

So watch 'Dragon'. Don't watch 'Hex'.

And BTW, the title of this post is an utter lie. One could never train the mighty Jonah Hex... at least not the original, Eastwood-ish, real Jonah Hex from the comics.

May the Force be with you...

All About King Kong

Last year, I posted an article called All About Godzilla . It's only fair to do the same thing for King Kong. Giant monsters are definitely my thing. Godzilla has always been my favorite, but Kong was the very first giant monster I remember seeing when I was a kid. The 1933 and 1976 versions of King Kong were played on TV a lot during my childhood years and I watched them every time I got the chance (in Pre-VCR days). I remember wanting to stay up extra-late one night long ago to watch King Kong Escapes, and when I was told no, I got up out of bed anyway and sneaked into the living room to watch it. I got in a heap of trouble for that, but I regret nothing. For some reason, giant monster movies always seemed to be aired after midnight on school nights. This made it increasingly difficult to follow the 9 pm bedtime rule. Ahhhh....memories....

Back to King Kong...he's a giant gorilla, or ape of some sort. He's been described as being anywhere from 20 to 150 feet tall, but usually clocks in around 25 ft. He has no special powers, like Godzilla's atomic breath or Mothra's silk webs for example; he's just big and strong and has a soft spot for human women (especially blondes). Sometimes he's played by a guy in a monster suit (as in the DeLaurentis and Japanese Toho studios films), sometimes  CGI (Peter Jackson's 2005 King Kong) and also as an incredibly ahead-of-its-time stop-motion model (the original and still the best). Usually, the studios will use a combination of techniques to have the ape interact with the human actors...apparently you can't make a Kong movie without a huge rubber hand for the lead actress to sit on...

There's no real explanation ever given for Kong's enormous size, other than that he hails from a 'Lost World'-type setting on a remote island somewhere very very far away - some say in the Pacific, some say the Indian Ocean....  Once we get to see him wrestling dinosaurs and wrecking stuff, nobody cares how he got that big.

He's been in a good number of films, and there's been a staggering amount of rip-off giant ape films out there too.  I'll start with the 'Official' King Kong films, and go from there.

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KING KONG (1933)

The original, and in my opinion, still the best (Pete Jackson's 2005 version being a close second). This must have absolutely blown people's minds when it hit the theatres in the 30's. Not only does it have a great story with the whole Beauty & the Beast thing going on, but we get to see a gigantic monster demolish New York and climb the (then) tallest building in the world. King Kong features amazing stop-motion effects scenes of not only Kong himself, but also a lot of prehistoric creatures like the T-Rex, Stegosaurus and Pterodactyl. It sometimes seems pretty dated, but I think it's a nice snapshot of a bygone era that I otherwise would know nothing about. 

We all know the story of this one, but if you don't, go here. I can't be bothered to write a full description of a film that 99% of the people I know have already seen. If you haven't seen it....what the hell's wrong with you? It's KING freakin' KONG!

SON of KONG (1933)

I didn't know a lot about this movie until a relatively short time ago...I knew of its existence for a long time, having seen a picture in a King Kong children's book in my school library...but I just recently bought it on DVD. There's a review of it in a previous post - Rapid-fire Movie Reviews, AUG 23 .

I won't bother to go through it all again, but let's just say that I was pleasantly surprised by it. Released in the same year as the original, it also has great stop-motion animation, albeit on a tighter budget... The story drags a bit in the beginning, but the last half of it is pretty entertaining. Kong himself isn't actually in this one at all, just the aptly-named 'Little Kong'.

Exactly how Kong came to have a son without any kind of mother anywhere in sight remains a mystery for now.... this same dilemma occurs in Son of Godzilla...

.....and speaking of Godzilla,

KING KONG vs GODZILLA (1963)

This film is, to my knowledge, the first time King Kong was portrayed by a live actor in a monster suit. Although this seemed to work perfectly fine for Godzilla at the time, the patented Kaiju 'Suit-mation' doesn't translate so well for Kong. Regardless, this is still an awesome film. It's even cheesier than you'd expect - but that's the fun of it all, am I right? 

As if the horrible rubber Kong suit and the Toho interpretation of his island home (replete with Japanese actors painted up to look black) weren't cheesy enough, the American studio intercut the Japanese version with supposed 'global news report' scenes featuring a handsome caucasian anchorman and some of the worst 'science' that you'll ever see in any sci-fi movie. I said before that Kong had no special powers, but in this movie, he apparently gets stronger when exposed to electrical energy.

Toho studios also made him larger in this one, somewhere around 150 ft tall, presumably so Godzilla and all of the miniature scenery that Toho specializes in didn't have to change scale. This is the tallest King Kong appears in any of the films. Strangely, his hand (when holding the damsel in distress) seems to be pretty much the same size as in every other appearance...

Overall, it's pretty funny to watch if you've got the stamina for horribly-dubbed rubber monster movies. Not a lot of people do.

KING KONG ESCAPES (1967)

If you thought King Kong vs Godzilla was far-fetched, wait until you see this one. King Kong Escapes is just one of the dozens of giant monster (ie; kaiju) movies produced by Toho in the 60's. Again, this one is made using the 'suitmation' technique which, although improved somewhat since Kong's last appearance, still looks pretty unconvincing. I think that Kong stands about 70 ft tall in this one, so he appears to be shrinking... 

That being said, we are treated to an excellent 'Kong vs Dinosaur' battle near the beginning, and perhaps best of all, we are introduced to Mechani-Kong, the robot version of KK. 

Oh....and he climbs up the Tokyo tower, which had apparently been rebuilt since Mothra wrecked it six years earlier. Is all that cool enough for you?

KING KONG (1976)

I guess after seeing the Japanese sully the good name of Kong in the late 60's, Hollywood decided to strike back. With a relatively large budget, big-name actors and an 'improved' monkey suit, Dino DeLaurentis gave it a go in the 70's, adapting the original story to a contemporary setting. Instead of going to the island to make a movie and find Kong, the humans arrive on Skull Island looking for oil. Instead of climbing the Empire State Building, Kong climbs the World Trade Center and leaps from one tower to the next. Instead of rescuing the heroine from a dinosaur, he fights a gigantic snake. Other than these differences, it plays out pretty much along the same lines as the 1933 version.

King Kong looks a good bit better here than in the Toho versions, but not much more realistic. He is however, given a terrifying roar and comes off a lot scarier than he'd ever been before. I think this movie gave me some crazy nightmares when I was a kid.

Most of the movie was good quality for 1976, and the actors were pretty good - except for Jessica Lange as Dwan, who annoys the crap out of me every time I watch this movie. Jeff Bridges is good as hippie scientist Jack Prescott, the male lead who saves Dwan from Kong and falls in love with her along the way (although why, I can't imagine).

Not as good as the 1933 King Kong, but a worthy addition from the Ford/Carter era of the mid to late 70's.



KING KONG LIVES! (1986)

Like a lot of things, King Kong got worse in the Reagan era....

King Kong Lives serves as a sequel to DeLaurentis' 1976 King Kong. Apparently Kong survived his fall from the dizzying heights of the WTC, and after being kept alive in a lab for ten years, he needs a heart transplant. Linda Hamilton (post-Terminator, pre-T2: Judgement Day) portrays the surgeon who performs this medical miracle. Kong is back on his feet and destroying stuff in practically no time at all. In this movie, we also get to see Lady Kong, a female of the same species just recently captured in Borneo (or somewhere like that). The plot has a bunch of ridiculous twists and turns, and basically Kong and his new bride get it on and reproduce. In the end, both of the parents die and little Baby Kong survives.

It's all pretty silly, and the effects, even though 10 years later, are much worse than the previous film. This is the kind of film that actors and producers like to forget that they ever made. At least it seems that way, since it's pretty hard to find in your local video store. Still, it's a Kong movie, and no collection would be complete without it. This served as the last King Kong movie for a whopping 19 years, until...

KING KONG (2005)

Fresh off of the Lord of the Rings experience, Peter Jackson decided to do another big-budget adaptation. A lot of people trashed this movie and it was considered to be a box office flop. I enjoyed this movie tremendously, despite its tendency towards over-the-top action sequences (my one major complaint). The CGI is spectacular, and Kong has never looked better. The animators obviously went out of their way to make him look realistic and more like an actual animal than ever before. Visually, this is definitely the most impressive King Kong movie of all.

The acting and script are great, and I for one liked Jack Black as Carl Denham (I know some folks didn't care for him). It all flows pretty well for being over three hours long. I like how the movie seemed to capture a little of the spirit of the 1930's by throwing in a lot of small details, both in the scenery and dialogue. There's great emotion and character depth throughout.

What I didn't like about this film is probably what some thought were the coolest parts;  the 3-on-1 T-Rex vs Kong Battle and the Giant Bug sequence, both right in the middle of the movie, one after the other. I think this was just WETA studios showing off their skills, but it actually lessened the impact of the movie quite a bit to see scene after scene of utterly impossible things happening until you just can't be impressed anymore... 'Too many cooks...' and all that....

Anyway, it's a fabulous movie either way, and you should see it. Don't listen to people who base their opinions on what everybody else says about something on the internet. You should know that I'm the only one you should listen to...especially when it comes to giant monster movies.

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Of course, with the continuing success of King Kong movies, it's only logical that there'd be about a million 'fake' Kongs out there from all corners of the globe. Here's a handful of them, some of which I had no knowledge of until I started researching for this article:

Queen Kong (1976 - UK)

A*P*E (1976 - Korea/US)

Mighty Joe Young (1949 - US)

Mighty Joe Young (1998 - US)

Konga (1961 - UK)

Kong Island (1961 - Italy)

The Mighty Peking Man (1977 - Hong Kong)

King of the Lost World (2005 - US)

This is just a few of the Kong knock-offs, and I'm sure there's even more out there. With the exception of the two Mighty Joe Young movies, I haven't seen any of them. I wouldn't mind checking a few of them out (especially A*P*E, widely considered to be one of the worst movies ever made, starring the mom from Growing Pains). They seem to be right up my alley....

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There's also been a few animated Kongs:

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It seems that there's an endless array of giant gorilla-related entertainment out there, just waiting to be discovered. When I decided to write this article, I had no idea what I was getting into - there's just too damn much to write about.

Having now surpassed the 'longest post ever' mark, I think it's time to cut it off. Besides, Godzilla might be jealous if he found out that I wrote more about King Kong than him....

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Until next time:

May the Force be with you...