3 Good Reasons (Part 2)

The first installment went rather well, so I thought I'd follow up with the sequel. Any posts after this upcoming Halloween/Comic Con weekend will likely be full of lots of pictures and updates, so I'll get this out there before it leaves my brain entirely. Here are more reasons to see the world the way I do, and why you're living your life just plain wrong if you don't.



3 Good Reasons to Take a Bath Instead of a Shower

1 - You can't make fart bubbles in the shower. If you could, I'd be astounded.
2 - The shower drowns out the sound of your amazing singing voice.
3 - You can't lie down in the shower. I guess you could, but that's just weird.


3 Good Reasons to Own a Cell Phone (***sarcasm alert***)

1 - In an emergency, they can provide a vital link to assistance.
2 - You can reach your customers/clients/business contacts anytime, anywhere, thus making the process of doing business much smoother.
3 - You can call your friend while you're on the bus on the way to their house and ask them what kind of beer you should pick up at the vendor. Or you can call them from the vendor and ask them if they prefer Moosehead or Brewhouse, even though you only have enough in your pocket to get a 12 of Brewhouse. Make sure to try and persuade them toward the cheaper beer while you've got them on the phone, and make sure you're right at the counter and there's at least 2 people waiting in line behind you. If your friend wants Moosehead, he'll have to kick in, and come down and meet you. Also, if you're friend has to look around his house for extra cash, it's OK - you can wait on the phone - so can the vendor guy and all the other people behind you in line. (After all, you have a cell phone - you're important). Or you could wait until after you've bought your beer and you're standing outside your friend's house at 2 am on a Monday night. I'm sure that his wife wouldn't mind you stopping by for a few beers....



3 Good Reasons Not to Own a Cell Phone

1 - People can reach you at any time, and therefore, you have no excuse not to talk to them.
2 - One monthly payment will, on average, cost the same as a two-four of beer or a comparable amount of the recreational substance of your choice.
3 - Brain Cancer. OK, so I don't know if this is true or not, but my poor brain has suffered enough abuse (see #2, above).



3 Good Reasons Why Being a Rock Star is Better than Being a Porn Star

1 - It's 100% legal to perform a 'solo' in public.
2 - People everywhere recognize you from the neck up.
3 - The public pays millions a year to see Aerosmith or the Rolling Stones, but no one wants to watch a 65 year old porn star doing his thing.



3 Good Reasons to Live in Canada

1 - Free Universal Healthcare.
2 - People don't sue each other all the time or legally carry guns in public.
3 - Every Canadian kid can know the sensation of having his/her tongue stuck to a metal pole in the winter. You just can't get that in Florida.



3 Good Reasons to Stop Writing and Go to Bed

1 - It's 3 am.
2 - The cat wants something.
3 - I've run out of things to write about.


'Nuff said!


May the Force be with you...